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Dating a Broken Person: 4 Things You Need to Understand

  1. Commitment Issues

It’s no surprise that a person who has been badly wounded from a previous relationship may still be in the process of getting his life back together and learning to put himself first again. The time it takes to do this heavily depends on the person and the weight of circumstances that led to their breakup. In most cases, lack of commitment or compromise is not solely because the person is selfish but it’s because they had every last drop of selflessness sucked out of them.

Other reasons for lack of commitment according to Carl Rusbult, may be explained by Interdependence Theory. Rusbult points out that investment and alternatives are crucial to relationship commitment. For example, for some men, they find few benefits and higher costs in modern relationships that result in low motivation to commit. According to researchers, some men opt to explore relationship alternatives to support their varying needs while others pursue non-committal relationships rather than deeper connections.

Moreover, only when people see their ultimate need for each other through complementary ways, dismiss alternatives and invest in each other, commitment is likely to happen. Whatever the reason for lack of commitment may be, putting up with it is a choice.

  1. You’re not in the picture. Yet.

This person may have been accustomed to living his/her life without depending on anyone after the previous relationship. It’s also possible that your SO is still figuring out where you guys are in the relationship, your level of connection and whether he/she sees a future with you. If new in the relationship, it may be understandable. Pushing him/her to include you in every area of his life could be a recipe for disaster. An opportunity and time to allow this person to open his life up to you could help but how long depends on your patience.

  1. No attachment safeguard

It’s imperative to understand that the person you’re dating had the nerve to leave something so wonderful and meaningful behind him/her and doing the same to you (no matter what you have) is just an easy peasy. For example, this person had been in a 10-year relationship (have kids) with his teenage sweetheart, but still mastered the strength to leave. How likely will you not experience the same given you’re just dating in the past 2 months?

Sometimes, this person thinks it’s better to walk away than invest more energy and time. This is a hard situation to be in but if you see it’s worth the fight, then a way to make it work is possible.

  1. No out-of-their-way act

For a person who is emotionally broken, going the first mile (open himself to date someone new or commit) is probably hard itself what more taking the extra mile. It’s important to understand that like trust, this is something to be earned—as it’s something that was substantially abused before.

You cannot expect your SO to do this right off the bat but experts suggest to lead by example. Showing off how able you are to do this may let you see if he/she is also able to reciprocate.

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10 Best Dystopian Video Games

If fighting the bad guys isn’t enough for you, explore these imagined worlds with governments that dictate every aspect of your life.

  1. Deus Ex (2000)

Set in an alternate world history where the poor struggle in a world devastated by a pandemic, the government has created a cure for the disease but only gives it out to people who are deemed worthy of it. Terrorists have taken advantage of the opportunity to rise up against the elites by fueling the rage of the masses.

  1. Half-Life (1998)

While the setting of the game is focused primarily on a research facility, it is overseen by a corporation that decided to eliminate the survivors of an experiment gone wrong. This coverup is stalled by the scientists and officers who managed to teleport a man into the dimensional rip to stop an even greater threat.

  1. Beneath a Steel Sky (2009)

A world destroyed by nuclear fallout is divided into several states each one trying to dominate the other. The game is set primarily in wasteland following a child adopted by the locals living in the wilderness.

  1. Dystopia (2018)

Inspired by cyberpunk literature, the game is set in a futuristic world where two faction vie for control. Their conflict, however, affects not just the physical world but also the virtual world.

  1. Year Zero (2007)

Set in alternate future of America in 2022, the country tries to take control of the populace through exercising military control after several terrorist attacks. However, this motivation to protect its people is also clouded by its expansionist ideals and paranoia.

  1. BioShock (2007)

In an alternate history of 1960, an underwater city called Rapture is created to make the perfect city. Whereas other ideas failed to make people happy, Rapture’s visionary claims that a society can only flourish without morality and government. Because of this openness to new ideas, scientific research boomed, but it wasn’t long before the city was plagued by the same problems humans face everywhere.

  1. We Happy Few (2018)

Set in an alternate history of World War II, the Allies lost to the German Nazis at the Battle of Britain, forcing back what is left of the resistance. In one town, Wellington Wells, however, managed to shake off the Nazis, that resulted in their isolation. Strangely, the townspeople felt guilty of the event and invented a hallucinogenic drug that makes them forget unhappy things.

  1. Homefront (2011)

Set in 2027 when a united Korea under Kim Jong-un dominates the world, the rest of humanity is plagued by an epidemic and a collapse of civilization. With the US as the last nation standing against the dictator, an invasion was launched, and a puppet state created in Western US.

  1. Freedom Wars (2014)

10,000 years into the future, humans can no longer sustain life on the surface and so they were forced to live in underground cities. These tightly-controlled cities oblige residents to make a contribution to the society in exchange for security.

  1. Mirror’s Edge (2008)

The city might seem perfect and peaceful, but it is held together by a government that keeps a close eye on everything from communications to the use of alcohol.

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What You Need to Know About Brain Fog (What Causes It, and What You Can Do)

It’s normal to have days when you can’t think clearly, forget things, or have trouble concentrating on a single task. However, if you start to experience these things on a daily basis, then you’re most likely dealing with some level of brain fog.

What is Brain Fog?
Brain fog is a symptom more than a medical condition. It’s a general term for when you have trouble thinking straight, remembering details of your day, or are just having a hard time concentrating in general.

While most people would excuse the brain fog as simply having a bad day, it can interfere with work or school when you’re not careful or don’t know how to properly deal with it.

What Causes Brain Fog
Brain fog can be caused by different things, such as the following:

• Poor diet – A poor diet can have a bigger impact on a person’s health, especially when certain vitamins such as 12 or D are missing
• Stress – When your brain is exhausted, it becomes harder for you to focus
• Allergic reactions – Food allergies, such as peanuts or dairy, can have a bad effect on the brain
• Lack of sleep – Most people need between seven and eight hours of sleep, and the lack of it can make you feel groggy and cranky
• Medication – Certain medications can have their own side effects, one of which is brain fog, but these effects will eventually subside on their own with enough rest

What You Can Do
One of the best ways to get past the brain fog on a day when you can’t focus is to simply take a break. If you’re at work, take a few moments to put the laptop away and take a few deep breaths.

There are also other ways you can deal with brain fog, such as the following:

• Eat enough healthy carbs – A lack of healthy nutrients can make you feel groggy and make it more difficult to focus on your tasks, and especially when you fill yourself with empty sugars and calories
• Learn to manage stress – When you’re dealing with stress poorly, you end up feeling more tired and lead to other problems later on cortisol accumulates in your body, putting you at risk of heart diseases later on
• Exercise – Though there’s no need to go the gym, you still need to get the blood flowing with moderate exercise. Not only will it help you feel more awake and fight fatigue, but it also improves insulin resistance and your sleep quality

If brain fog persists, you should also consider checking in with your doctor and asking for professional medical advice.

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5 Great Ways to Recycle Used Coffee Grounds

Freshly brewed coffee is an amazing experience, but if you enjoy brewing your own cup at home, you’ll usually find yourself with an endless supply of used coffee grounds as a result.

But don’t throw them away just yet! Here’s how you can make use of used coffee grounds at home:

1. Pest repellent
Coffee grounds can be a great DIY pest control material against ants because both the grounds and the acid can dissolve their exoskeletons.

To keep ants out of your home, simply lay down a 2-inch-wide line around the entrances. You can also mix the grounds with hot water and pour them over any areas or cracks that might house ant colonies.

And if you’re worried that you pets might have caught something in their fur, you can even use this to get rid of fleas or bugs.

2. Compost
If you keep an indoor garden in your HDB flat in Singapore, having coffee grounds is a great addition that you can use as fertilizer. They are both rich in nitrogen and beneficial to worms that process the soil.

However, just like any other compost material, you want to make sure that your “green” material balances your “brown” material, so remember to add just the right amount of coffee grounds to balance your compost.

3. Soap and shampoo
You can actually absorb caffeine through your skin, and with the use of caffeinated soaps and shampoo. Coffee is a great deodorizer, so it only makes sense that it’s used as an ingredient in your own homemade soap.

You can also get a handful of used grounds and massage them into your hair for an all-natural hair mask. Leave them for a while before washing out to shampoo and condition your hair.

4. Make antique-looking paper
If you have a thing for stationery and DIY arts and crafts, there’s more reason to keep the coffee grounds.
You can make paper look much older by dipping it in a soupy mix of used grounds and water and letting the paper soak for a minute before drying and brushing off the grounds.

When doing this, be sure to use paper that won’t dissolve easily in water and handle the wet paper gently.

5. Removing odors
Forget charcoal and deodorants – you can get rid of odors in your shoes with something cheaper.
Used coffee grounds are great at absorbing odors, so simply put them in a teabag and place them in your shoes for a few hours until the smell subsides. If you don’t have teabags, you can also use a coffee filter tied with twine. Be sure to position carefully for maximum effectiveness.

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Lunchtime Workout: How to Do It

Midday exercises are great way to rejuvenate and give yourself a mental break. This will help a lot in improving your productivity and energy to take on the rest of day. However, it can feel overwhelming, especially during a busy day at the office. Here are some tips to help you nail a midday workout to help improve your physique and performance at work.

1. Let your boss know
A midday workout won’t go well if you just disappear from your desk every hour of every day, without letting anyone know, especially your boss, where you are going. Before you booking a lunchtime workout session, bring that up to your boss. Most reasonable bosses would likely say, “Do whatever you need to do, just make sure it won’t affect your performance at the office.”

2. Work should still be a priority
Deciding on having regular lunch workout means you know your priorities. If your boss asks for a minute to get a task done or a workmate asks for your help, you know you should skip workout. This can be tough if you have pre-booked or prepaid a session. In that case, keep this mantra in mind: “A lunchtime workout isn’t given, it’s a luxury.”

3. Always bring dry shampoo
Most of us know that dry shampoo is an instant hair solution, and that’s especially true for lunchtime workouts—when showering isn’t an option. Whether you have short or long hair, dry shampoo can make your hair freshly blow-dried even after an intense and sweaty gym session.

4. Go to work prepared
Pack your bag like how you would pack your car—always ready for any event. Spin class needs different shoes than running or CrossFit. Always have two or more sets of gym clothes with you. Who knows what you would feel like wearing on that day. By having multiple options, you’ll prevent yourself from saying excuses like “I feel cold, and I only have a short and a shirt for workout. I should skip.”

5. Never skip your lunch
A lunchtime workout does not mean you should skip lunch. Post-workout meal is imperative. Like how breakfast fuels you for the day, your post-workout lunch will keep you full until supper and provide nourishment for your muscles to repair itself after an intense exercise. The secret to eating a healthy lunch on time is to pack it. Pack a turkey salad or a sandwich that you can easily munch when you return at your desk, answering emails.

No matter how busy you are, try to find time to take care of your health. If you think working out after a busy day at work is too exhausting for you, make the most of your one-hour lunch break for a midday workout.

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30 Interesting Questions to Get Your Teenager Talking

If you have teenagers, you know how tough it is to understand their views on things, especially if it isn’t align with yours. One of the important matters to learn as parents is not to assume that we know what our kids think and how they see things as these varies a lot due to hormones, maturity and even just a bad day.

One of the smart ways to avoid freaking out under such circumstances is to consider how your teen is feeling about life in general. To get an idea of how your teen thinks and feels, here are some questions you can ask them. But remember, do not be too serious, and timing is everything. Make this time a fun and casual bonding moment, so your teenager would feel comfortable and be more open with sharing his or her thoughts with you.

1. What do you usually daydream about?
2. What makes you feel happy?
3. What TV show or character makes you laugh the most?
4. If you have your own store, what would you sell?
5. What do you look forward to when you wake up in the morning?
6. What type of music you often listen to?
7. What’s your favorite band or artist?
8. What’s your favorite pastime with your friends?
9. If you can fast forward school and choose any job for yourself, what would it be and why?
10. What house rule you like the least, and why?

11. What memory makes you happy?
12. What puts you in a bad mood or makes you feel angry?
13. What do you wish you can do that you cannot do as of the moment?
14. Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?
15. What do you enjoy doing when you’re alone?
16. What’s your favorite game, and why?
17. What’s the funniest thing you saw online today?
18. What do you think about piercings and tattoos?
19. As your parent, have I ever done anything to embarrass you?
20. What’s your favorite family tradition?

21. What family activities you enjoy the most?
22. How would you describe yourself in three words?
23. Do you know anyone at school who smokes? What do you think about that?
24. Do your friends already date?
25. How about you? Do you feel you’re ready to date?
26. What’s your thought about marriage?
27. Do you think people should get married first before they have sex?
28. Do you consider yourself a good leader?
29. What sports do you love to play?
30. What would be a perfect day for you?

Don’t worry if it seems like your teen isn’t excited initially about answering these question—and don’t rush their answers as well. Let your child take his time. This will show that you are genuinely interested to hear what he’s going to say and not just asking them like an interrogative parent.

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What is Brain Fog and What Are Its Causes?

Brain fog or brain fatigue typically is considered a symptom rather than a condition itself. It’s basically when you start having more and more memory problems, you’re having difficulty concentrating, and you find it hard to think clearly. This should sound scary to us but knowing the causes of brain fog can help us avoid or reduce its effects.

Stress
One of the more obvious causes of brain fog is stress. We already know that stress affects our health negatively in a lot of ways. It causes hormonal imbalances, increases blood pressure, triggers anxiety and depression, and above all causes mental fatigue. Simply put, when we’re always stressed, our brains will not be able to function as efficiently as it should.

Lack of proper nutrition
Proper nutrition goes beyond our physical appearance, it very much helps with the wellness of our mind as well. When we lack essential vitamins and minerals from healthy food, of course, our brain will be affected. Food high in sugar, for example, can particularly promote brain fog. Glucose or sugar is the main fuel source of the brain and the body. Eating too much sugary food causes our blood sugar levels to drop down or spike uncontrollably. You can just imagine how this affects the brain.

Not having enough sleep
You’ve probably heard it a hundred times but here it is again: Most working Singaporeans do not sleep enough. We tend to disregard it but having enough sleep really has a lot of benefits for our physical, emotional and mental well-being. If you constantly say to yourself that you’ll have to sacrifice sleep to finish your work, that’s going to hurt you in the long-term. Not having enough sleep will reduce your focus, harm your creativity, and limit our productivity as a whole.

Medication
Some prescription drugs have side effects that can build to brain fog as well. Some medications like those for pain relief and high blood pressure are ones that can cause certain reactions in the brain that can eventually encourage brain fog. In this case though, brain fog is a normal side effect of the medicine. Even so, you can ask your doctor about it so he/she can lower the dosage or recommend another drug.

Hormonal changes
Pregnancy, for one, causes drastic changes to a woman’s body. More hormones are produced for the protection and nourishment of the baby. This is why some mothers find it harder to remember certain things while they are pregnant. Another example could be menopause. Naturally, this is because a woman’s reproductive period is nearing its end and typically because of old age. Women may also experience small memory problems in this stage in life.

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